$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
