Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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