I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
