tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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