I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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