the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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