Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
