Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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