she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
In America we eat man semen.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
