why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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