So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
