Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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