mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
