i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
