The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
being pregnant is like rehab
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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