We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Congratulations! We have a period
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