Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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