I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
