you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
