Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
