this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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