i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
