his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
