Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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