Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
