You're my little dorito
Me too!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize