Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
