btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
