I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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