Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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