I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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