if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
