I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my shit smells like andre
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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