I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I will be naked everywhere
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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