You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
