Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
