Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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