Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
