I'm drive I can fine osifer
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This baby is an asshole
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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