Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
