The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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