I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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