whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
