Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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