He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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