Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize