Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
