Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
