so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
