He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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