GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
