So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
