May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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