the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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