elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What a dumb baby whore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
