As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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