I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
