She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize