so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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