I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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