Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize