If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
