I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
