Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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