is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
