You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if only i could text you this smell
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
