She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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