You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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