6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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