I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
