Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
