If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
